THE TAX MAN COMETH!

Ugh. We all know what today usually brings. For some, it may be elation for those who are due a refund, but for many of us, it’s definitely not a date we look forward to.

We thought it might be fun to brighten up the atmosphere with some really corny tax jokes. You won’t be able to help yourself. After all the eye rolls are finished, you will find yourself chuckling. Let’s have some fun!

Reader’s Digest starts us off with a few goodies:

• Q: Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?
• A: Because they only have one scent.

• Q: Which superhero pays no tax?
• A: Spiderman, all his income is net.

• Q: What do the IRS, a mugger, and your kids have in common?
• A: They all take your money.

• Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then wind up in the hole.
• Intaxifcation: The wonderful feeling you get when you receive a tax refund until you realize it was your own money in the first place.
• Something you’ll never hear on tax day: Taxes are liberating! They free you from the burden of deciding how to spend your own money.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you! Here are a few tax-related quotes from Almanac.com:

• “It is more deductible to give than to receive.” –Henry Leabo
• “An income tax form is like a laundry list—either way, you lose your shirt.” –Fred Allen
• “Tax reform is when you take the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and put taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before.” –Art Buchwald
• “What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.”–Mark Twain

And last but not least, a few accounting and tax jokes from Parade Magazine:

• Where do homeless accountants live? In tax shelters!
• Why are accountants always tired after work? Because their job is so taxing.
• I tried paying my taxes with a smile … but they still demanded cash.
• How does Santa Claus list elves on his tax returns? As “dependent Clauses.”
• Why did the IRS audit a chiropractor? Because he owed back taxes.

Let’s hope these few giggles ease the pain a bit. Until next year!