How do we know when a loved one has dementia? As we age, all of us have forgetful days and make mistakes. That does not automatically mean we have dementia. Age, depression, medications, nutritional deficiencies, illness, and more may also contribute to memory loss and behavioral changes. However, research has shown some typical behaviors and signs to look out for, particularly when several are exhibited often. While the list is not complete, these are some common indicators:
Short-term memory loss. A person may vividly remember events from their childhood but failing to remember that their son visited them yesterday is more concerning. Forgetting to pay bills, upcoming appointments, feeding the dog, leaving something cooking on the stove, or not recognizing familiar people are other examples. It becomes even more disconcerting if behaviors grow to be abnormal such as trying to bake their laundered clothes in the oven instead of using a clothes dryer.
Repetitive questions, statements, and actions. Asking the same question time and again in short intervals is another classic sign as well as making the same declaration repeatedly. This may also manifest itself in the recurrence of activities such as needing to take the dog for a walk when they just returned from doing so a half-hour earlier, forgetting they just ate, or going to the same store daily and buying the same items.
Paranoia. Common paranoias include regularly raising concerns that someone is trying to kill them or stealing from them, accusing a spouse of cheating or a visitor of being the one the spouse is cheating with, or even hallucinations of intruders. They may also begin to hide items including food, money, or other possessions in fear of being robbed.
Wandering. Why someone with dementia wanders varies. It could be out of boredom or looking for someone who isn’t home. They could be seeking help for or trying to escape an imagined threat. Maybe the person has gone out for a walk and can’t remember where they are going or how to get home.
Disruptions in daily routines. Slacking on personal hygiene, not wanting to change out of pajamas during the day or wearing soiled clothes repeatedly, and even losing interest in eating becomes a common occurrence. It may also include ceasing normal activities such as reading, daily walks, and hobbies.
Becoming agitated easily. We have all had triggers that have set us off. But with dementia, it can often be identified with patterns and more frequent. Being in a crowd, loud noises or music, unfamiliar surroundings, becoming disconcerted why they cannot remember something, or realizing they are losing control are all common causes for them.
Losing things. With dementia patients, it’s not so much losing items as it is that something is not where it should be. As the disease progresses, they will form routines whereby everything always has a designated place, and if it is not there, it is ‘lost’. Even though we have all misplaced something at some point, we can generally retrace our steps to find the item. With dementia, this ability fades. Not being able to recall recent events prevents them from being able to retrace their steps.
Abusive or violent behavior. Even though we all have been agitated at some point, hopefully, it’s not our usual behavior. When a person insults or curse frequently and forcefully, creates recurring arguments, or lashes out physically, this should raise an eyebrow, especially if the person has not behaved in that manner before.
Social withdrawal. If a loved one no longer wants to leave the house, loses interest in activities or visiting their best friend or relatives, withdraws from any routine activities, and ‘just wants to be alone’, this could be a sign.
Sexual or lewd behaviors. While this isn’t as prevalent, it is a clue that something has changed, particularly if this is not commonplace with the person. Undressing in public, make lewd remarks to others, masturbating, or touching others inappropriately is a warning sign.
If you notice a combination of these elements becoming a pattern or a potential danger themselves or someone else, the first thing to do is get professional medical help. Talk to your provider or that of the loved one. Outline the patterns and frequencies of the aspects that cause concern. The physician will either wish to schedule an appointment with the person or refer them to a specialist. Only they can make a correct diagnosis based on a physical exam, reviewing their medical history, clinical testing, and other factors. If the outcome is a positive determination, they can counsel you to choose an Assisted Living Facility for their care or help you become a skilled caregiver.
When discovering dementia-like behaviors, one essential thing to remember is that the person is probably not aware of their behavior or attitude changes. Look upon them with love and understanding. Don’t argue or criticize them. They are not doing these things on purpose, and your negative attitude will not turn the clock back and can only make the situation worse. While it is rewarding to reflect on who they once were, they are changing, and currently, there is no cure, although we all have hopes that will change. It is best to think of what is in their best interest today, and all the tomorrows they still have.
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